Thursday, June 5, 2008

I ran over a whole roll of duct tape today....

.......actually felt my tire go over it. So I looked in my rear view mirror ..and it was intact.

That stuff is like Kevlar. I now regret not stopping and getting it. It was a whole roll.

Cool Things on Etsy made from Duct Tape:

Armored Corslet

Patriotic Duct Tape Purse

DUCK TAPE Original Art Sculpture Wall Plaque Figurine

Custom Everlasting Rose Boutonniere and Corsage

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Strange and Mysterious Slave Clothing Auction

http://tinyurl.com/5brgbz

What's stranger than the Virgin Mary on a Piece of Toast? Check out this auction, for 300 year old clothing with black polyester lace trim!!

Well, I couldn't let this gem go without giving it a better description. I mean, doesn't such a rare and priceless artifact deserve better? I couldn't do anything about the upside down pictures, or the scabby beige shag carpet, but here goes my efforts at a better, more descriptive write up:

""My grandmother, on her death bed, weakly yet urgently insisted that I leave the hospital and go to her house ,and look inside an old trunk that no one in the family was ever permitted to do so. Grandmere claimed the trunk to be possessed by a sad spirit.
Inside that trunk I found , wrapped in tattered old wool that looked like a Revolutionary War Militia Issue blanket, these surprisingly well preserved pieces of clothing that our ancestor actually wore on the ship from Africa over 300 years ago.
How were these items preserved so well? Did she perhaps travel in the Captain's cabin, trading her embraces for the right to keep her only scraps of possessions? What were the mysterious stains? Grandmere didn't know, she just shivered weakly with a frisson of terror when I questioned.
"Please, Sallymae, never, ever question your ancestry.Just know that she was a Voodoo Queen.....you come from MAGIc, Cher . That woman never aged, she stayed raven haired and smooth skinned all her evil days."

She held up her hand, did my grandmere, and touched four fingers and her thumb explaining gingerly that the clothing was cursed by the sweat , tears, and blood of her mothers' mothers' mothers' grandmeres!!!
I took a deep breath as a tear trickled down her face I began crying and just touching the garments began to make me shiver. I could smell the blood and hear the beating of rooster wings, I could feel the hot flames of the sacrificial fires scorching my face . But strangely the clothing stayed cool, cold even, like the dark sinister heart of a Spell Weaving Temptress.
I took the clothing home with me to ponder on, but my cat Merde hissed and spat at it . I dared
not offend Merde, as his vengeance is lengendary.

So, I took the clothing in a Piggly Wiggly paper sack to our local branch of the Smithsonian Institute , (La Robes du Scam) and they discussed with our family their desire to display the clothing, but in the interim we discovered that we could possibly make the money to have the Voodoo Curse of Ages reversed, according to our famous local Voodoo Maven, Marie Mabel Mary Margaret Lavogue.
Thus, we have decided to place the clothing on ebay to beg of you to help us lift this curse. We promise to donate 50 % of the proceeds to the campaign of our Grandpere, John McCain , who so valiantly won't use his biracial ancestry just to procure votes .
Please note that the other notorious voodoo queen, Hilary Clinton, refused to participate in our quest to banish this evil dark presence. She said she was "too busy dodging Sniper Fire"
Happy Bidding. "

Coming to a Movie Theater near you, staring Sayesha Mercado and Harvey Kietel.

My favorite Etsy picks for items-most-likely-to-be-worn-by--a- 300-year-old-slave-even-thought-they-might -contain-polyester-and-nylon are above, feel free to click away !

Rosy Wench corset top S

Dark Sugar Boudoir Voodoo Black Magic Trinket Couture Necklace

One of a Kind - Art Deco Inspired Turban - Hat - Gypsy

Custom Mojo Cuff with Vintage Key from the Big Easy your choice of components

Handmade One Of A Kind Neck Corsage Of Vintage Laces

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Siamese Kittens for Sale !!!

If you are interested in our kittens, please visit http://bamabellesiamese.googlepages.com/home . This is my new website.
If it is not visible, try again later, I am adding more pics !!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I want Simplicity

Why ? why should I have to do Myspcace, Facebook, Flickr , IndiePublic, Stumbleupon, Blog, DMOZ, Google adwords, Trunkt , and any other precociously misspelled promotional networking sites , just to peddle my wares?

WORD : I can't do it all. I don't desire to do it all. I just want to be the Borg Queen and assimilate you all into my collective.

But, as She says, Resistance Is Futile . I guess I can devote one evening a week to "Network", since it looks like this Writer's Strike is not going to end anytime soon, and we won't get but 8 episodes of LOST this year.

Speaking of which, I have great ideas for plots for lost.My favorite one is where Denny Crane and Alan Shore crash onto the island, where Jack Bauer has just swam up incognito for a giant Mental Xanax Relaxation Vacation. (he is not drunk swimming, in this plot he has already completed rehab)

This plot would merge the superb mental stamina of Alan, the sheer lunacy of Denny, the cruelty-yet-fairness of Jack, and the BE ALL END ALL sexiness of Sawyer, creating the perfect Man Island. (all the women would run screaming into the ocean , terrified by the elderly randiness of Denny Crane)

Bauer would kick Jack's whiny arse, once and for all. He would forever silence that pip squeaky voice that so grates on my nerves. Alan Shore would solve the mystery of the Invisible Forest Stomper, the giant black cloud, the poor sweaty polar bears, and the Skeery Rocking Chair Dude , all in one fell swoop of mental callisthenics.
After this Utopia is established, I'd arrive, by way of spacial transportation, (I am the Borg Queen, rememeber?)and the fun would commence.

Desmond would run up.....forgetting all about that old looking-in-need of a -facial-moisturizer Penelope, and say "SISTAH!"

And Sawyer ? He'd be instantly in love, as I'd arrive fully loaded down with Stephen King , Pat Conroy, and other various and sundry Man Writer Novels, as well as some sexy new reading glasses for him. (and a bottle of shampoo, cause, DUDE, you're hair is so skanky dirty.....but let me wash it....ooooh, that feels niiiiiice.......)

So, back on the networking thing. I've done my Duty Shift (another Trekkie reference for you to decipher)to my Blog, now I'm off to Myspace. (pray for me)
Before I leave you in Pea Green Envy of my antics on The Island Utopia, I have some faves on ETSY picked , in honor of the return of "LOST"....and my stint as Borg Queen.

For your viewing pleasure:

MY ETSY SHOP