Vintage Can be Funny

I ran over a whole roll of duct tape today....

2008-06-05T15:52:00.000-07:00

.......actually felt my tire go over it. So I looked in my rear view mirror ..and it was intact.

That stuff is like Kevlar. I now regret not stopping and getting it. It was a whole roll.

Cool Things on Etsy made from Duct Tape:

Armored Corslet

Patriotic Duct Tape Purse

DUCK TAPE Original Art Sculpture Wall Plaque Figurine

Custom Everlasting Rose Boutonniere and Corsage

Strange and Mysterious Slave Clothing Auction

2008-05-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

http://tinyurl.com/5brgbz

What's stranger than the Virgin Mary on a Piece of Toast? Check out this auction, for 300 year old clothing with black polyester lace trim!!

Well, I couldn't let this gem go without giving it a better description. I mean, doesn't such a rare and priceless artifact deserve better? I couldn't do anything about the upside down pictures, or the scabby beige shag carpet, but here goes my efforts at a better, more descriptive write up:

""My grandmother, on her death bed, weakly yet urgently insisted that I leave the hospital and go to her house ,and look inside an old trunk that no one in the family was ever permitted to do so. Grandmere claimed the trunk to be possessed by a sad spirit.
Inside that trunk I found , wrapped in tattered old wool that looked like a Revolutionary War Militia Issue blanket, these surprisingly well preserved pieces of clothing that our ancestor actually wore on the ship from Africa over 300 years ago.
How were these items preserved so well? Did she perhaps travel in the Captain's cabin, trading her embraces for the right to keep her only scraps of possessions? What were the mysterious stains? Grandmere didn't know, she just shivered weakly with a frisson of terror when I questioned.
"Please, Sallymae, never, ever question your ancestry.Just know that she was a Voodoo Queen.....you come from MAGIc, Cher . That woman never aged, she stayed raven haired and smooth skinned all her evil days."

She held up her hand, did my grandmere, and touched four fingers and her thumb explaining gingerly that the clothing was cursed by the sweat , tears, and blood of her mothers' mothers' mothers' grandmeres!!!
I took a deep breath as a tear trickled down her face I began crying and just touching the garments began to make me shiver. I could smell the blood and hear the beating of rooster wings, I could feel the hot flames of the sacrificial fires scorching my face . But strangely the clothing stayed cool, cold even, like the dark sinister heart of a Spell Weaving Temptress.
I took the clothing home with me to ponder on, but my cat Merde hissed and spat at it . I dared
not offend Merde, as his vengeance is lengendary.

So, I took the clothing in a Piggly Wiggly paper sack to our local branch of the Smithsonian Institute , (La Robes du Scam) and they discussed with our family their desire to display the clothing, but in the interim we discovered that we could possibly make the money to have the Voodoo Curse of Ages reversed, according to our famous local Voodoo Maven, Marie Mabel Mary Margaret Lavogue.
Thus, we have decided to place the clothing on ebay to beg of you to help us lift this curse. We promise to donate 50 % of the proceeds to the campaign of our Grandpere, John McCain , who so valiantly won't use his biracial ancestry just to procure votes .
Please note that the other notorious voodoo queen, Hilary Clinton, refused to participate in our quest to banish this evil dark presence. She said she was "too busy dodging Sniper Fire"
Happy Bidding. "

Coming to a Movie Theater near you, staring Sayesha Mercado and Harvey Kietel.

My favorite Etsy picks for items-most-likely-to-be-worn-by--a- 300-year-old-slave-even-thought-they-might -contain-polyester-and-nylon are above, feel free to click away !

Rosy Wench corset top S

Dark Sugar Boudoir Voodoo Black Magic Trinket Couture Necklace

One of a Kind - Art Deco Inspired Turban - Hat - Gypsy

Custom Mojo Cuff with Vintage Key from the Big Easy your choice of components

Handmade One Of A Kind Neck Corsage Of Vintage Laces

Siamese Kittens for Sale !!!

2008-03-23T13:56:00.000-07:00

If you are interested in our kittens, please visit http://bamabellesiamese.googlepages.com/home . This is my new website.
If it is not visible, try again later, I am adding more pics !!!

I want Simplicity

2008-01-16T14:55:00.000-08:00

Why ? why should I have to do Myspcace, Facebook, Flickr , IndiePublic, Stumbleupon, Blog, DMOZ, Google adwords, Trunkt , and any other precociously misspelled promotional networking sites , just to peddle my wares?

WORD : I can't do it all. I don't desire to do it all. I just want to be the Borg Queen and assimilate you all into my collective.

But, as She says, Resistance Is Futile . I guess I can devote one evening a week to "Network", since it looks like this Writer's Strike is not going to end anytime soon, and we won't get but 8 episodes of LOST this year.

Speaking of which, I have great ideas for plots for lost.My favorite one is where Denny Crane and Alan Shore crash onto the island, where Jack Bauer has just swam up incognito for a giant Mental Xanax Relaxation Vacation. (he is not drunk swimming, in this plot he has already completed rehab)

This plot would merge the superb mental stamina of Alan, the sheer lunacy of Denny, the cruelty-yet-fairness of Jack, and the BE ALL END ALL sexiness of Sawyer, creating the perfect Man Island. (all the women would run screaming into the ocean , terrified by the elderly randiness of Denny Crane)

Bauer would kick Jack's whiny arse, once and for all. He would forever silence that pip squeaky voice that so grates on my nerves. Alan Shore would solve the mystery of the Invisible Forest Stomper, the giant black cloud, the poor sweaty polar bears, and the Skeery Rocking Chair Dude , all in one fell swoop of mental callisthenics.
After this Utopia is established, I'd arrive, by way of spacial transportation, (I am the Borg Queen, rememeber?)and the fun would commence.

Desmond would run up.....forgetting all about that old looking-in-need of a -facial-moisturizer Penelope, and say "SISTAH!"

And Sawyer ? He'd be instantly in love, as I'd arrive fully loaded down with Stephen King , Pat Conroy, and other various and sundry Man Writer Novels, as well as some sexy new reading glasses for him. (and a bottle of shampoo, cause, DUDE, you're hair is so skanky dirty.....but let me wash it....ooooh, that feels niiiiiice.......)

So, back on the networking thing. I've done my Duty Shift (another Trekkie reference for you to decipher)to my Blog, now I'm off to Myspace. (pray for me)
Before I leave you in Pea Green Envy of my antics on The Island Utopia, I have some faves on ETSY picked , in honor of the return of "LOST"....and my stint as Borg Queen.

For your viewing pleasure:

I DO know the meaning of a paragraph break...

2007-12-21T14:30:00.000-08:00

......but obviously Blogger doesn't. Note to self: use the HTML code for a paragraph next time !!!!

Ode to my Aunts

2007-12-21T13:58:00.000-08:00

So, I find myself , here at Christmas, wandering down Old Memory Highway. Feeling a wee bit nostalgic. Longing for the "good old Days" when families actually had time for each other.
My Aunts were a big part of my childhood,a special part. Each contributed in their own way to my unique , distinctive personality. (of which I am very proud, I revel in my "uniqueness")
Aunt Patsy , the oldest, gave me my first set of Louisa May Alcott hardback books, which I read over and over. (still do!) They, along with my Breyer horses, were my most treasured childhood possessions. She made Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy forever a part of my family. Nothing is as valuable a gift to a child as a love for books. She also taught me to stay calm in the face of emotional upheaval, be it job related or family issues.
Ever the happy, giggly one, Aunt Peggy made me strive to develop my artistic side. She has this dormant talent for painting that fascinated me as a child. I could never draw or paint that well, but that's OK, I have learned to develop my own style as a painter, to express my turbulent feelings on canvas or paper , instead of letting them boil over and crate anxiety. Aunt Peggy needs to revisit her talent , it should not be wasted.
Fashion is important to me. Not so much fashion trends, but having my own sense of style . Aunt Wanda has always been true to her own "look". I have never seen her less than immaculately groomed and dressed. She,like I, believes that age is a number only, not a guide for dressing. You'll never hear me say "I am too old to wear that". Aunt Wanda accomplishes a trendy, yet always classy look without looking like an aged Britney Spears (Quel horreur!!)
"Fun" was always Aunt Kathy's motto. We had the best times at her house spending the night. I vividly remember turning off all the lights and playing " boogers"...a kind of spine tingling Hide and Seek in the dark. BB Guns, potato chips, and all night games were allowed in her house. Have you ever peed you pants from laughing ? I have, and it was at Aunt Kathy's house.
We are the sum of our experiences, our goals and dreams, and our families, and I am proud to say that my family has always encouraged me to be just who I am: an individual with a well developed sense of "me". A person who is not afraid to try new things , to express my feelings, to say "no" to social norms if they don't fit my goals. I am Who I Want to Be ......finally !!!

BITE ME, BITE ME RIGHT ON OLE BERTHA !

2007-09-21T16:23:00.000-07:00

You know who you are. I'm a *classy* lady (snicker snicker) or I'd tell you a thing or two.

There is a huge following for vintage....know why? It's much better made than that cheap mall stuff, it's much more original, and personally, I don't want to dress like Britney.

Had you rather have, say a babydoll dress from Buckle that imitates the 60s, and go to class and Lauren, Ashley, Fluffy,and Muffy have the exact same dress on ? (horrors!!)
or had to rather have the REAL THANG , trendy, yet unique? You tell me.

Grow some mental cojones. Dare to be different. THAT's what vintage is all about.

These sellers know how to ROCK the vintage, how to EMBRACE their own uniqueness. Check them out. visit them at http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=10101

Stick your Finger in it next time !!!

2007-08-23T21:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a girl has to have a break .....and mine comes in the form of making soap and bath & body products. It makes me feel like I'm *cooking* to stir and measure and blend.
Now, DD feels the uncontrollable urge to poke her fingers in whatever I'm making...be it soap, sugar scrub, or EWWW!!! salt scrub. She then, every time, sticks her finger in her mouth. WHY ????? Why taste something totally unknown? Shea butter, epsom salts, palm oil....SOAP ?????
In case you didn't know, all soap is made with lye. (ALL soap)You have to let it cure. You mix with gloves and goggles on.What part of this picture makes you think you can TASTE IT? If a lady was stirring up a pot of something and she was wearing goggles and long rubber gloves, would you run and poke your finger in it and take a taste?
So, tonight's selections are dedicated to DD's big blister on her tongue.......and her curious 14 year old fingers. (14 is old enough to know better)

Blueberry Soap

Pumpkin Pie Soap

TOMATO BASIL kitchen soap old time recipe

SEAWEED KELP OLD TIMEY SOAP

Six Wierd Things About ME!

2007-08-16T11:19:00.000-07:00

1. I like to snack on dry cornflakes

2. I can't sleep when I am supposed to, but can nap anytime, as long as I tell myself it is a "Nap".

3. I like to smell my own farts.

4. I like my Sterling Silver jewelry tarnished

5. I like to scratch my scalp and smell my fingers

6. I am attracted to Klingons.

It's TAX FREE Weekend......

2007-08-03T18:19:00.001-07:00

......here in Alabama. It's a little "perk" ?????? provided by some government, I really don't know if it's state or county,but since school starts back next week, if you are buying anything that can be construed as School Supplies , you pay no sales tax this weekend. Clothes, paper, markers, books of all kinds...etc etc.

Which means the shops are crawling with people and THEIR KIDS ! CRAWLING, I say!
Mine stayed at home , as she can turn the music up as loud as she likes when she's here alone, and dance, I strongly suspect.

So, never, ever, ever, EVER again will I go shopping on Tax Free Weekend , even if we are out of litter and cat food and toilet paper combined. We'll all just have to drip dry.

So, wanna avoid insane crowds, and enjoy your shopping experience? Shop at home, not out in the heat, in your jammies ? And pay NO TAX on your purchases?

Well, if so, check out ETSY. It's www.etsy.com . YOu can start with my shops, :
www.bamabelle.etsy.com
www.flowerchildorganics.etsy.com
and www.patternsofvintage.etsy.com
I created a treasury of my favorite ETSY items in white....."Things that are White", fell free to browse it, too. Quite some wonderful things there.

Please visit it at http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=4875

Now, for some choice sellers:

House of Six Cats

Kayann Works - Art & Gifts by Heather LeMay

Design by Sabreena

Pixie Soap

Manic Magnolia

BeckyKay Designs

Chris N Rohrbach

Ample Goddess Jewelry

Manic Magnolia (LOL, ROLL TIDE !!!!)

CM Creativity

Calicat : Ooh...Jewellery that loves being worn again and again ♥

SUBU

Goddess Dolls

The Beaded Lily

Art by JC

Mixed Media Art by Paulette Insall

RedFenyx Polymer Clay Creations

Naked Tile

pinkicejewels

Mr. Anderson's Creations

jengs shop :: original goodies by jennifer eng

Everlasting Glass

Purple Toes Jewelry

Smashgirl Mosaics

He whines, he DINES.......(story of back pain )

2007-07-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

Hubby has hurt his back. I'm gonna go nuts.

Now, keep in mind that I did physical therapy for years for a chiropractor, so I'm not exactly useless in helping his pain, but he is keeping his pain as a pet, stroking it, loving it, hoarding it.....and won't let me touch him.Said it "made him nauseous " for anyone to touch his back.
Today I over-ruled him. I made him lie flat on the couch ,and went to work on his back with a massager. (heat massager). If this was a new injury , as in less than 48 hours old, I would have used ice massage. (ice the first 48 hours, then alternate with heat)
I worked on that spot a while, then applied as ice pack and told him to lie there and be still.
Now, DD was making him some tots n cheese, and he was really wanted those tots and cheese. I told him they could wait a few minutes, to be still and let the ice work.
NAY !!!!!!! He called DD , and she took him his tots and cheese. Would you believe he's lying on his stomach, back all iced, with his plate in the floor , EATING ???????
What's funny is I keep hearing him say "scat, cat !! Go AWAY, cat ! Those are MY tots, cat! "
It seems Lily likes tots n cheese, too. And it also seems it does NOT make him nauseous for someone to work on his back, ehhh???

So, in honor of this WHINE & DINE episode, I'm featuring some items from my beloved ETSY (www.etsy.com) , artisan made, for days where you hurt, and need some pampering , but still have that hearty appetite. BON APETIT !!!!

Flax Seed Therapeutic Heart Hot or Cold Pack (in a shweet heart shape)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5430122

Mini BooBoopack FISHERMAN (ya gotta see the model in this one, he's a ham)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=535000

Soothing Massage Soap, Oatmeal, Milk, and Honey
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5953666

Massage Butter with Shea Butter - 1.75oz.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5813842

Chamomile Comfort Tea
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6187124

Gift Basket with Neck and Eye Pillow
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6002882

COMFORTING DRAGON HEADACHE TEA (tm)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6592667

Delicious Creamy Melt In Your Mouth Buttercream Fudge
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6590085

Elvis Cookies
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6579102

Old Fashion Popcorn Balls
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6548184

YOU can see my store at ...

2007-07-24T19:22:00.000-07:00

www.bamabelle.etsy.com

Sister Sadie's Mystery Dress

2007-07-24T19:15:00.000-07:00

This one has a story.

It came from the estate of Sister Sadie.

I used to go to church with Sister Sadie. She was a fine, upstanding Church of God woman, who wore no makeup or jewelry, but, man, she loved clothes. And she bought them...from high dollar boutiques. ( she always drove a new Cadillac, too)

So, I went to her estate with fond memories. Saw plenty of antiques , nice dishes, dreamy furniture, and bland but expensive clothes.It was kind of sad, as I'd see a dress and remember her wearing it to church.

But....buried waaay back in the closet,past the simple yet well made dresses.....was THIS one. Still encased in it's dry cleaning plastic bag. I pounced.

It is obviously late 50's.....so this wouldn't have been her wedding or honeymoon dress. And it was SO NOT HER.

When did Sister Sadie wear this dress? To what function? She plainly attached some sentimental value to it, as it was the only piece anywhere near vintage.

Her daughter who were running the sale had never seen it.

I like to think she had one special night out.......to celebrate , who knows what, but there it was, like a pearl among brown pebbles.

The dress is hydrangea blue rayon lace over a palest blue acetate underdress. Metal back zipper. Short sleeves. But the kicker is the sexy side adornment of a fan shaped bow with two long trailing tails. So stunning.

Eve tho it was in it's dry cleaned bag, I had to soak it to remove the Funk of Ages that vintage gets when hidden in a closet for too long. I pressed it , and it came out beautifully. I also repaired 2 small holes in the lace (how did Sister Sadie get holes in her dress???), that are very hard to see, as the lace it HOLY anyway, being lace.

Very nice dress, and even tho I soaked it for hours, it still holds an oh-so-faint trace of her White Shoulders perfume.

Promise to give this dress one more Good Time.See it at

bust : 40"
waist : 29"
hips: 40"
length : 40"

Yes, I really can spell.......

2007-07-19T22:33:00.000-07:00

......it's just hard to type with a cat in my lap. Plus I'm hysterically laughing here......

VOMIT paper ? exorcist labels?

2007-07-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

Back story:
I got the idea to name handmade paper to sleeve all of my soaps in.....so I soaked all these nice bits of scrap paper, and added yellow dye. This was supposed to be a *nice* lemony yellow color.

I blended it in our Smoothie maker, and put it in a big bowl. Notice the size of my hand in comparison to the bowl.

It was too think.

I added water.....lots of water.....it got bigger and bigger. I had to manually (as in with my hands) scoop it onto the frame, and had forgotten til i stuck my hands in there that I had added WARM water.

Nasty. NASTY!Puke? Exorcist paper? Insides -of-the-holey-cow paper???

I mashed and mashed, trying to smooth it, to get some of that thick mess mashed down. I used a whole giant picnic pack of paper towels blotting it. Somehow I think that cancels out the whole "Recycle paper and be green" idea.

Yeah, it's green all right. GREEN VOMIT !

Any idea what went wrong??????

(there is calendula and dried chamomile in there somewhere)

You can see the nice soaps at www.flowerchildorganics.etsy.com

Siamese Cats are CRAZY, I TELL YOU !!!

2007-06-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

So, it's 100 degrees here, how 'bout you ??

The last 3 summers it has not been consistantly this hot , but I have air conditioned the Cattery anyway. With a small window unit. For those who don't know what a cathouse is, it's a 10 by 20 foot insulated metal building, with wood floors, windows, and a 12 foot screened porch coming off one end. The cattery is in the sun all day, the cat porch is in the shade. We currently have 6 female cats in need of adoption living in the cattery.
Anyhoo, every year I'd run that air conditioner, even tho my power bill would shoot over $300. But they never would be inside. They'd be outside, on the cat porch, afraid a squirrel would run by to close and they wouldn't get to watch the maniacal Chihuahuas chase it.
So, I took the little air conditioner for my stock room. I do work up quite a sweat in there ironing and starching those full skirted 50's dresses, ya know.
Today, after an Arby's run, I felt the need to refill the water trough out there, and pet a few kitties in the shade of the porch.
BUT NAY ! EVERY ONE of them came running out of the cattery thru their little swinging door...and I kid you not, it has to be every bit of 120 degrees in there.
It's proven: Siamese cats are so stubborn they will try to bend Mother Nature to their collective wills .
I came inside, where it's nice and cool, and on my couch, all balled up in a faux fur throw, were the Housecats, like I had the house cooled to Iceburg levels. NOT !!! It's 75 in here.
I don't know what's up. This past winter, we had a few cold nights where it went down to below freezing, and I'd stumble out to the cattery to check the heat, and , yes, you guessed it, they'd be on the cat porch.....right out in the cold. With the inside all nice and toasty, with little padded cat beds.
I give up. Help me. Does anyone want to adopt a very stubborn Siamese female With Issues? I have 4 .....I drop one in the mail to you, Priority.

In the meantime, check out my top 4 new items that had to be hidden from prying Siamese eyes :

GIGANTIC lucite egg necklace pendant vintage (they had thought of making this a neat Cat Toy)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6287765

DISCO WINE vintage dress S M : (neato, that smooth poly would be SWEET on the claws)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6284549

vintage groovy halter top MOD 60s cotton XS S M hippie (small enough for 10 cats to try and lie on it at once)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=5889312

COSPLAY vintage costume dress satin sequins (Ahhh...noo, no vet trips today for undigested sequins)
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6261402

THIS is why my stock room has a big huge brass lock on the top top of the door!

Pentecostal Childhood Memories

2007-06-18T23:31:00.000-07:00

We were raised Church of God. Ye Olde Tyme Church of God, back when you were gonna bust Hell wide open if you wore makeup, pants, or a ring. (they are more liberated now).

I wouldn't take anything for it. We totally looked forward to Church, cause you never
knew what was gonna happen.

Like the time Sister Gloria fell out in the Spirit. She had this big old beaded barrette in her beehive hairdo (you could wear bejeweled hair ornaments), and when her head smacked the floor, it busted, and beads went rolling way back down the aisle. You should have seen us kids running for those beads like candy thrown at Mardi Gras. ( not that I"ve ever been)

It was always loud, so we could talk to our friends and not get pinched, like those poor Baptist kids. You could even fart and only smell it, and gross out your friends. Sometimes when i played the organ, I would rip one and get a giggle at how it vibrated off of the vinyl bench.

Brother David would get to running in the Spirit, and make several rounds all over the church, burning rubber around those corners,and never once open his eyes. Now that's real, people.

I loved the music, we had drums, organ, piano, several guitars, you could feel that beat in your chest . "I"ll Fly Away " was the rockinest. (again, I pity the poor Baptist kids, with only the dry piano) .

It was fun to invite your friends, and not warn them, and see them shaking in thier shoes......and NOT from the Holy Ghost, either.

When you go the Church Giggles,it was OK, you could bow your head and pretend you were Touched. .........Except Daddy could always tell, and we fairly often got spankings on Sundays.

Once our little Foster brother, who came from a heathen drug using mother , got in trouble. I think he was about 2. Mama took him out to spank him in the foyer, and we could hear him yelling "FOK YOU , MAMAW , FOK YOU !!!!" (he couldn't talk plain, and called our Mama Mamaw)

Yep, we all ended up getting whipped that day.

We were preacher's daughters, so it was up to us to set An Example. We Set An Example all right.......on how to sneak jeans to school and get them on in 5 seconds after deboarding the bus........and THROW those culottes in that bag!

The worst thing we ever did was sneaking a whoopie cushion into the funeral home when Daddy was preaching the funeral.

DUDE, that was FUN !!! And even Mama got tickled beyond all control. She WAS NOT setting an Example. And when we got home, we got tte switching! and she laughed harder than we did!

Fond memories........except for Foot Washing night.

In the Bible Jesus washed the feet of the disciples to show his love and humility, so every once in a while the churhc would have A Foot Washing. It was such a hard decision to make for a kid: do you stay in the sanctuary to see that water splash when they got to dancing in it, risking getting called up there and having to wash some skank adult feet? or do you just fake the squirts and hang out in the bathroom? I could always time it just right, and see the drama , but take off for that potty at the first sign of a wet-footed adult heading my way. My sisters weren't so lucky. They have horror stories of corns, and yellow , wet toenails.

I had such a good childhood. Really, it was.

In honor of my Pentecostal Raising, I have a new vintage dress up for sale. You can view it at http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6229188. NOT recommended for a Foot Washing, it doesn't have enough running room.

Good night, and God BLess. and find a Pentecostal church Sunday morning, it just might grow on you!

www.bamabelle.etsy.com

fokking blogspot

2007-06-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

so, how many accounts does a girl have to create to get that damn post to blog button to appear? NOT KEWL ! More confusing than Myspace !
I had a totally rockin' post all saved in my mind.....now it's gone with my wind.

Will have to wait til that Ambien kicks in now.